Local Man Goes Long Distance

Stamford, Connecticut Advocate/Greenwich Time
September 9, 1999
BY MARY BETH FALLER

What do Americans want? More time and more money. That's what Stamford resident David Silberkleit found this summer during his tour of eight big cities as part of the "Get An Idea America" tour, sponsored by the Yellow Pages Advertising Council. "I had hundreds of five-minute conversations with Americans," says Silberkleit, 38, who wrapped up his journey Aug. 27 in Denver. Silberkleit's uniquely qualified to be a human catalyst sparking change in people's lives. He's an executive coach, whose specialty is helping people figure out what they need to enjoy a more meaningful existence and helping them work out a plan to achieve it. Even though Silberkleit was already in tune with the stressed--out, maxed-out, busy days of businesspeople, he was still surprised by what he heard on tour.

"I was amazed to see how people are shoehorned into their lives. It's universal," he says. "It's shocking to me to see very few people had room for anything. People are full to capacity. Life has consumed them."

The tour took him to a variety of spaces, from the public library in Boston to the Long Beach Aquarium in California to malls in Atlanta and San Antonio. Always, people were busy, busy, busy. "Occasionally, they would say, 'Oh all right, give me an idea,' as if they were doing me a huge favor by giving me a minute," he says.

Silberkleit, a friendly, low-key guy, admits the polyester Yellow Pages suit he wore on tour might have been a little off-putting, but that it also served as an ice-breaker in many situations. "People would walk up and say 'cool suit' and then we'd have a conversation.”

From the frantic to the financial, people wanted more.

"The second thing that was amazing to me was that people want to make more money. That was about 80 percent of the requests," he says. "That's when it got to be fun. I would ask them what they did for a living and then I'd ask them what they love to do, and for 95 percent of them, it couldn't have been more divergent. "So we talked about doing something in their lives that they loved, and their faces would light up. The shift moved from money and became whatever they loved."

That's when the "idea man" took off.

In Atlanta, a graphic designer asked Silberkleit whether he should focus on his family or his career. "I said, 'I can give you an idea right away - you'll need both or you wouldn't be asking me that question," he says. "It isn't an either/or."

When the man said he wanted to make another $20,000, Silberkleit suggested he take on four companies as free-lance clients, and charge each $5,000 to redesign their logos and identity packages. "I then asked him what he loved, and his face lit up. I could see he was sharing from his heart, and he said 'I love to dance. But I have no time to dance.' I told him to look in the Yellow Pages for dance schools, and target them for his redesign project. I told him, 'You could have a meeting, then a dance class. You would be around dancers.' This guy was on cloud nine."

A woman in Florida wanted an idea to help her sons get along better. Silberkleit suggested looking up sailing schools in the Yellow Pages, and enrolling them in a class that uses two-per-son sailboats, so they would work as a team.

While Silberkleit took some people's heartfelt desires and led them to the Yellow Pages, some-times it worked the opposite way. "A doctor in Texas came up to me and wanted to redesign his Yellow Pages ad to put his com-petition out of business," he says. "He had previously worked for the competing practice and they had parted ways. He wanted revenge." So they discussed the ad, and the doctor's interest in laparoscopic surgery. "He had a 7-year-old daughter and I asked him, 'in 20 years, how do you want your daughter to remember your career? As the guy who put the competition out of business, or as a pioneer in laparoscopic surgery?' He got it at that moment."

Silberkleit said he found no differences among the cities. "I have a strong sense that Americans all over are spiritually bankrupt" and looking to financial fulfillment as the answer to that emptiness, he says. "No one asked, 'How do I make a difference in my community?' ”

Still, he blames this on people's busy lives rather than on a lack of empathy. "I think people want to make a difference but don't have any room to. The literacy sign-ups demonstrate there was compassion," he says.

The tour ran in conjunction with Literacy Volunteers of America, which signed up people along the way. While Silberkleit went to eight cities, the entire tour visited 23. The LVA didn't keep track of the total number of people who volunteered.

Silberkleit sees change ahead. "It has to," he says. "Too many people are driving around all alone in their giant SUVs, insulated from the world. That can only go on so long. "There's going to be a shift to a more value-oriented society," he predicts.

While a return to traditional religion is one possible way people will shift their focus, it's not the only one, he says. Americans might also start paying more attention to helping out in their community, or being more aware of the environment.

But change won't be easy, Silberkleit says, judging by the reaction to much of the advice he passed on. "I think people are comfortably unhappy. People would say, 'fine, but ...' or 'maybe if I was younger...'

People are afraid to embrace change.

David Silberkleit's journey around America this summer has inspired him to hold an "idea jam," a free, one-hour teleconference that anyone can join and he will direct. Participants can ask him for ideas on how to achieve their goals, or they can just listen in. The jam will run from 8 to 9 p.m. Wed., Sept. 29, 1999.

Call Silberkleit for details at 203-325-4844 or e-mail david@empowercoach.com.

Empower Coaching
33 Wallace Road
Stony Creek CT 06405

david@empowercoach.com
Phone: 203 488 9188